After reading your blog, I want to tell you that thoughts of death hover for a long time after cancer/surgery, etc.
After my mastectomy, I had visions of my own funeral forever it seemed -- whenever anything would remind me of my vulnerability -- and there are lots of reminders out there.
Your last blog spoke to me and brought that all back. I want to encourage you that it does pass, so, hooray for stepping off the bandwagon for awhile.
It takes more courage to say no to things than to say yes for those of us raised as people-pleasers and blessed with talents that make that possible.